Steaks and Cadillacs

June 7, 2013

Greetings from the West.

How did I get here? Why did I get here?

I wanted to see Glacier National Park and escape the scorching Texas heat, if only for a week. But as long as I'm driving, why not make a few stops along the way.

Texas and Palo Duro Canyon

During the summer, Palo Duro State Park presents a musical about early pioneers in west Texas. When I first read  about it, I thought it might be a silly show of songs and forced audience participation bits. But it turns out, it is a quite professional looking stage production with a fictional yet historically based plot.  Settlers in Texas faced constant threat from drought and Comanches, and conflicts within over landowner rights, public lands and railroads. It was very good.

After watching a play about the canyon, it was time to see it. I took the 3 mile trek through the heart Palo Duro Canyon. It is fascinating that in the middle of the south plains of west Texas, a chasm suddenly opens up, carved out by the Red River south of Amarillo. It is the 2nd largest canyon in the US. Y'all know the largest, "grandest." The hike I chose was the Lighthouse, the most recognizable formation in the park.

Along the way, you can view the canyon walls and see the distinctive layers of rock which shows the age of this place. The previous night's torrential, classic west Texas thunderstorm left its mark an many a gulch on the trail. I wouldn't want to be in the valley in one of those downpours. It was a Gully Washer. A Toad Strangler. A frog st...well you get the idea.  The trail was moderate, with some steeper sections, enough to need a break once in a while, and definitely bring a gallon of water (water bottles, camelback, whatever you prefer, just bring it!). You finally get to the end of three miles (the Lighthouse in view at various points), and you think, "I made it. I'm here!"

Uh, not quite. The last 0.2 miles is just about straight up very rocky terrain. I had to stop halfway up, totally out of breath. But I shared the spot with a couple of others, and we took each other's photos. Getting to the top was worth it. Grand vistas of the valley and up close shots of the Lighthouse formation. A little relaxation, a few snacks, and a 3 mile hike back, and my day was nearly done.

Back in Amarillo, I had to switch hotels, because mine was booked for graduations. Next week (June 14-16), the Jehovah's Witness Convention is in town. Better book soon! But upon check-in, there was a sign for free limousine service to the Big Texan Steakhouse. They go to all the hotels and pick you up to make sure you go. Well, of course I had to go. What self respecting Texan wouldn't? The driver narrates a little history of the place and tells of the famous (or is it infamous?) 72 oz steak challenge. The participants have 1 hour to finish the porter. But they also have to finish the sides - a salad, baked potato, and 3 shrimp.

The place is really a tourist area with games, beer gardens, even a hotel. They recently started a brewpub on site. I had the sampler of 12 beers. All were kind of average, but the Pecan Porter really stood out. At my table, I had a great upstairs view of the dining room and of the 2 guys trying to eat the 72. I wasn't about to try it, but I did get the Man vs Food special consisting of a 24 oz sirloin, 3 shrimp and sides. It was good, I guess. I've had better. But mostly you go for the experience. A couple of old guys with a fiddle and guitar came by to sing. They didn't know any "Austin" country songs, so they sang Amarillo By Morning. Hey, a guy finished the 72 oz steak and the fixins'! And the second guy finished his! Two free dinners in one night! And there was much rejoicing. Yee-haw! Well, time for me to mosey. I hitched a ride with the limo, got some shuteye, and off to the north.

But, what's this? Cars in the mud? It's the Cadillac Ranch. Go ahead, sing the song. I know you're doing it in your head right now. You can't drive along I-40 without seeing it or stopping for it. Here you can still see evidence of the torrential rains from the other day.

The "Ranch" is on private land, but anyone is welcome, just go through the gate. Spray paint cans are available and you are encouraged to add your own art work graffiti to the exhibits. Maybe it won't be so muddy when you visit. After leaving my mark and painting tributes, I was off, "Tearing up the highway like a big old dinosaur," or like "James Dean in that Mercury '49." Well really it was a '13 Impala.